


After all

by Morenita326



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, F/M, Love, Love Confessions, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 14:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13572936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morenita326/pseuds/Morenita326
Summary: Some time before they get home, Kathryn tries to resume a friendship she thinks lost...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lodessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lodessa/gifts).



> This is a fic I started because I owe to Lodessa a better reading.  
> I want to dedicate it to all the girls that have accompanied me and changed, in a surprising way, what I thought erotic was.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the reading.

The dim light of his quarters is stirred by the chime of the door.

“Come in” he doesn’t even bother to know who it is, he can use the distraction from Tuvok's report.

But the light of the corridor outside draws the contour of a small silhouette that gains color and depth as the door slides closed and his heart comes to a halt.

“Captain” he is surprised and immediately worries. _What could have brought her all the way here?_

“Chakotay” she changes the tone of the visit “I hope I am not interrupting” she suddenly hesitates realizing he might very well be in the middle of something.

“Not at all” he walks to her and stops a couple of meters away, meters that had once been centimeters and yet, they had always felt like a galaxy away. “Come in, please” he extends his arm in the direction of his couch as if indicating she should sit down.

She walks past him and her scent surprises him, he has grown unused to having her so close. His body warms up and he finds himself relaxing his shoulders and smiling. Following her, he takes an armchair across the coffee table.

“So, what brings you here?” he beams at her.

“I…” she doubts “I just thought I would pay a visit” she can’t bring herself to tell him that she misses their talks and dinners.

“Oh…” the surprise escapes his lips before he can think of anything better to say.

“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have come. I'm sure you have a lot to do” she jolts back up from the couch.

“Kathryn, wait” he steps in her way and she pulls her shoulders back straigthening her back. “You came all the way here to try my couch?” he jokes.

“Well, it’s a very soft couch, _commander_ ” there it was the change in tone again. But now, unlike other times during these last years, they are almost touching. He looks down into her eyes, his breath accelerating even if he fights to keep it calm, and her eyes wander down to his lips making her own lips to part. A slow warmth takes his body.

“I better go” she looks to the side and walks around him to the door.

He stays right where he is, unable to move in confusion. The door slides open and he can hear her breath pausing, he knows she has turned slightly towards him.

“Good night, Commander” she says at his back and leaves before he can respond.

His body trembles, the buzz of all and every one of his atoms soon becomes a humming that grows and reverberates in the silent room until his body burns in feelings he thought he had long left behind. What was she looking for? She had asked for a friend and he had given her that, she had pulled away and he had respected that distance... now she comes knocking at his door and all the stars fade away. And every woman too. Anger builds up his chest, no woman has ever made him vulnerable, no matter the scent, the tone, the beauty... Be her any other woman, she would soon learn the meaning of his rage. Be her any other woman, he wouldn’t be at her mercy like this.

The door chimes.

“Come in” he mutters without even giving it a thought.

Seven of Nine walks in to find him with his hands on his hips and breathing with difficulty. She strides to him with a frown.

"Are you all right, Commander?" he doesn’t answer, he doesn’t know what to say. She takes his arm and intends to walk “May be we should go to Sickbay”.

“No” he raises his head but still can't face her. Guilt eats him away. She straightens up and looks into his eyes with a cold inquisitive look. Even when she is no expert in human nature, she can easily see his discomfort. She does not blush nor does the color fade from her cheeks. He sighs.

“You seem to be experiencing-“ she starts to explain.

“I’m fine. I’m just angry” he states leaving the discussion for closed. He should have known better. Seven’s attention was enjoyable and he had led himself to believe that something else could really happen between them. Now all those hopes seem to have crashed under Kathryn Janeway’s scent.

“Angry?” she tilts her head in confusion but he is not in the right mood to explain.

“Not a good day.” He turns to her and tries his best to smile “I really need to clear my mind”

“I see. May I suggest calm music and tea?” she walks to the replicator and he doesn’t have the heart to stop her. She orders green tea and goes back to him with the white cup in her hands. “I have noticed that the warmth of the cup is soothing as well”. She slightly raises her hands offering him the cup and a sharp spear scratches his anger making it spark.

“Thank you” he mutters. “You are very sweet” he beams but his eyes remain dark.

“Maybe I should leave” he looks away and nods “Good night, Commander”.

“Good night” he whispers as she turns and leaves hi with a firm step.


	2. Chapter 2

Kathryn has been engrossed in the distant stars for a while when her door chimes.

“Come in” she turns to the black figure that stands at her door. The man takes a few steps into the silent room and the door hisses closed. Even from far away she can see he is not hesitant nor shy, he is restraining something in his chest. She walks towards him, coming out of the shade of her window and he straightens his head breathing heavily.  _He’s angry. He has every right to be,_ she knows that very well.

“Commander” she breaks the silence with a calm voice, the mask of the captain very well put by now.

“What was that?” he looks straight in her eyes and now she is the one who straightens up.

“Excuse me?” she tries to lie the surprise and bluffs her indignant tone.

“Don’t. You know very well what I’m talking about” he wishes he had the strength to cut the distance and feel her scent again, get lost in it but he is too angry for that and was he to come close, she would end up pressed against the bulkhead.

“Commander, I think-“

“I am not here as your First Officer”

“You  _are_  my First Officer, you are Voyager’s First Officer.” her words hurt so much.  _He is so much more than just her First Officer. He had been her friend once, and even more… but those times are over and she should have known better than to show up unexpectedly at his quarters._  “I am sorry if I troubled you, I didn’t mean to”.

“But you did” she gives him a harsh look as he continues “you come clearly needing something and you leave with no explanation”. His tone has softened and so does her eyes that now linger on his lips as she falls silent. "What were you looking for, Kathryn?" She looks around trying to find an easy way to calm him down but he fills her silence with two slow steps that take him right next to her and s he closes her eyes, lingering in his warmth for one too many seconds. 

“What is it?” his whispers are sweet as he pulls her from behind her arms and her lips tremble when she meets his gaze.

“You should go, Commander” she tries to walk away but he is still holding her. She doesn't try to resist him or fight him, she stays quiet trusting he'll let her go.

And he does.

“No. I won’t go until you tell me why” his anger coming back.

She knows very well that whatever lie she intends to content him with will not work. He knows her far too well, that is why he is here in spite of Seven, in spite of rank, in spite of everything. He knows she gave in when she went for him.

“There’s someone in your life now and it was completely inappropriate of me to come over like that” she avoids his eyes but she doesn't walk away from him.

“So that’s it. It wasn’t the couch you were testing," he grins joyfully "it was me” he drags the words into darkness. Blood drains from her face as she lifts it to him “you wanted to know if you still had the same effect”. The harshness in his voice is more than she can take but she be dammed if she shows weakness now. After all, it was him who turned away from her.

“Looks like I do” she stares into his flaring eyes without blinking once.

“Yes, you do”

He takes her arms again and pulls her to him, forcing her to tilt her head back to maintain eye contact. But her eyes wander to his soft lips, she swallows and looks up again with a somber expression.

"May be you should leave". Her harsh tone flickers for less than a second but he feels it, the humming, the tremors...

"May be..." he pulls her to him and sinks in her, devouring her mouth with unleashed hunger. His hands move to her back and his arms circle her, pulling her against his body while she presses herself against him.


	3. Chapter 3

The Chakotay she knew would have stopped to her words. Something has changed and even if she is not complaining she can’t just play along. She pulls out of the kiss and lays her forehead on his chest and as she pulls her head from him, she lowers her hands feeling the fast beating of his heart.

“We can’t” she pauses trying to find some air “nothing has changed.”

“I disagree” his hands still holding her waist, pressing her hips to his “everything has changed” and she can feel the full size of his arousal.

“Because of a kiss?” her incredulous tone reverberates in the room.

He takes a deep breath and loosens his grip but she doesn’t move, she wants to know what has changed. He turns and exhales heavily.

“You really want to know?” he is not sure whether he's asking of just stating to himself. _Of course she wants to know. There's no way around Kathryn._

“I do” her voice is firm, a captain’s voice.

“When I first came on board this ship, I found out that I had been betrayed not once but twice. Finding Paris on your bridge, after what he had done, was more than I was willing to take from him. Then you stepped in the way” he looks down to his hands and up to meet her eyes.

“I remember that” she whispers and he nods.

“In that moment, Kathryn, all my anger fell on you. I could have snapped your neck in a blink but when I turned to look at you, all I could think of was your body laid on your back naked under mine and I could almost feel the taste of your mouth in my lips.” his dark eyes dim in desire.

“Chakotay” she wants to stop him.

“Then we agreed to work together and you tied us to Starfleet regulations” she raises her forehead taking the shot for what it is “and I tried to take you off my mind. Then New Earth happened” she makes an effort to swallow, she knows how hard it has all been since then. Working together, every day as if nothing had ever happened had eventually become impossible and she tried to take the burden off his shoulders by drawing away from him and trying to allow him to move on. They both fall silent for a few minutes, so many memories, words, looks, light touches twirling in their heads as those days come into their minds. Finally, they look away and he continues.

“But you wanted to know what has changed now” she turns to his words not daring to brandish any hope, whatever he says, she will have to turn him down. She has remembered why she had drawn away and it had been the right thing to do. “I thought I could move on, I thought I could fill the place you were willingly leaving vacant with someone willing to stay”. His words hurt her so much, _she is willing to stay, where else can she go? But he is right about one thing, he could never be her priority the way he is to Seven._ So, she lowers her head and swallows all the bitterness acknowledging, once more, that she’s the captain for good or bad.

“Stop. Please” She breaths heavily and looks up to meet his eyes, her warm blue eyes masked behind her rank. “I should have never come to you tonight. I am sorry, Chakotay” she looks right into his eyes, trying to end all of it with cold water but his lips slowly draw a smirk that makes her heart freeze.

“I can’t love her, Kathryn” he emphasizes every word, sinking in her eyes with rage. “I can only love you, and that realization is what has changed everything”.

They are standing a few meters away, eyes locked on each other, challenging their own strength. But she loves him and can't help to shake her head softly to the side with despair and he saves the distance in three strides, cups her face, circles her waist and kisses her as if his life depended on it. And it does. His kiss deepens while his hands move under her undershirt feeling her warm silky skin. She means to pull away, she has to but the sighs that escape his lips render her powerless. He finally pulls the shirt up her arms and tosses it away leaving her chest exposed to his mouth that trails her neck making her shiver with his warm breath. He nips the skin in the angle of her neck and she moans softly against his ear making him lose the little control he has left. He unclasps her bra and she tries to pull away but he stops her, softly pulling her back to him and slowly removing the piece of underware. His eyes remain locked on hers, darkening with desire. He clungs his fingers in the strip band of her trousers and pulls down kneeling before her. She lays her hands on his shoulders and kicks the trousers away while he presses soft kisses to her stomach and up to valley between her breasts. Their eyes meet and she gives in to him. She grabs his undershirt and pulls up taking it off and as he stands she hooks her fingers to his trousers that fall to the floor as soon as he stands.

So they stand, naked, flesh and sould wrapped in each other's love.


End file.
